TMI Tuesday – All About The Ride

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1. What car do you remember your parents owning when you were a child? Do you have any special memories attached to it?

Oh my gosh, in order, I can pretty much remember all of the cars my parents owned, I think:

  • Fire engine red Talbot Horizon
  • Metallic Blue A-reg Ford Fiesta Luxury (possibly the one I remember the most)
  • Fire engine red Ford Astra Estate
  • Fire engine red Ford Sierra Estate – Got in a fight with a car wash and the car wash won
  • Dark Green Peurgot 408 – Engine failed as we were about to go to Cornwall, consequently scrapped for its sins!
  • Royal blue Renault Espace
  • Black Vauxhall Zafira
  • Metallic Blue Citroen Berlingo, plus Mum’s run around fire engine red Toyota Yaris

When it comes to memorable cars, several here are memorable for different reasons. I remember the heaters in the back of the Ford Fiesta didn’t work, and my brother and I would end up sharing a blanket on the back seat and passing out 20 minutes into most car journeys.

The Ford Sierra Estate was the first car I ever drove, my Dad let me have a go at offroad driving for my 17th birthday – I do like driving but it’s terribly costly and not environmentally friendly!

The Renault Espace, “The Tank” was the car my Dad owned when Mr Wolfie and I were dating. We always called it “The Tank” and we always knew when my Dad had arrived if he came up to collect me/us, which he did often because Dad also liked driving. You could hear the engine ticking over from a mile away – possibly quite literally!

The Vauxhall Zafira was a taste of luxury but f*ck me was she hot in the summer heat. You’d touch her with any area of bare skin and instantly regret everything. Astounding car but black car paint should come with a warning after those experiences.

The Berlingo… you know, I hated her at first but after Dad passed I just leaned on her and cried. Dad loved his Berlingo, and I think I loved the Berlingo because Dad did. Berlingos are neither straight nor curvy and I found her kind of ugly because of that. They look fairly streamlined at the front but boxy at the back, kind of like a guppy. Anyway!

When it comes to favourite memories, I don’t think any one car fits the bill. I always loved just going for drives with Dad and I do think back to the one time I was in a really bad way with my seasonal depression. I could barely talk but I just huddled up against the seatbelt and let the tears fall. I felt safe and calm just being in Dad’s company and I knew that I was going to be okay.

2. How important are cars to you? Could you live without one?

I don’t own a car, so not very. Like I said, I like driving but my car-free lifestyle isn’t so bad. I enjoy the benefits of not having to pay to maintain it, I enjoy paying fuel money for a car share and being able to relax and take in the scenery and I enjoy rail travel for the same reasons, too. I absolutely adore First Great Western trains, okay, so I’m sure they’re not environmentally friendly because they’re big diesel locomotives, but they go a little bit slower and give me time to take in the scenery. One of my biggest fears is this modernisation with high speed trains. I don’t always want to get places faster, Sometimes for me, part of the fun is the journey. Oh, that sounds rude. I meant it romantically – honest!

3. In April 2019, Elon Musk predicted that owners of autonomous cars acting as taxis would be able to earn up to $30 000 from their vehicle while they weren’t using it. What do you think?. The link for the source article is here

To be honest, I think Elon Musk needs to put the Whacky Backy down. He can say what he likes, I don’t give him or his ideas an awful lot of credibility. He has a lot of pipeline dreams (NeuraLink being the latest one to make any “progess”) but they are that, dreams. Fully autonomous cars still aren’t legally on our roads and even fewer people will be able to afford them. We might see a fleet or or two but I think for some people, it’s still quite an alien prospect. I personally like the “driver” experience, that sounds smutty I know, but what I mean is that I like feeling that there is somebody in control. Technology is getting very, very good, but take it from a smart home owner, technology can also get it very, very wrong. Maybe they will be safe, but the computer only needs to error once or twice in the right areas for a whole host of bad things to happen and quite apart from which, with more and more advanced computer hackers, who knows what could happen? No thanks, I’ll stick with trusting a friendly face.

4. Tell us about your dream car.

Car porn

Seriously, we got a ride in one of these when we went te get little Hugo and Oh. My. God. I’ve always loved pick-up trucks for practicality reasons (hey, I’m an outdoor pursuits kinda gal, what can I say?) but getting to ride in one as phenomenal, okay, not just one, but a Misubishi Warrior L200 no less. They just look robust and sexy and I’ve always been like “I need that car” around them. My Mum’s neighbour even had one and she begged him to take me to my wedding in it as it would have made my day, that didn’t happen, but anyway. When the farmer started up the engine.. holy cow! I just felt this truck shudder into life, not like a typical family saloon car but like a ferocious beast awoken from a long slumber. I’ve never had a car make me gasp before, but the L200 managed it. One seriously sweet and sexy ride!

5. Tell us about the worst car you ever owned. What made it so bad?

I didn’t own, but my Dad did, and that goes to the Peurgot 408 that failed after we’d excitedly piled into the car and were ready to leave for our two weeks vacation in Cornwall. Completely dead, nothing, the engine had completely given out for seemingly no reason at all. That’s kind of a dick move, dude..

Bonus: Tell us about your most memorable sexual experience in a car.

Not in a car, but in a van. So it goes like this, because there’s a bit of a back story: Mr Wolfie had a house party and my parents being my parents, my Mum picked me up at 10:30pm, long before the party finished. The following morning I got a text from Mr Wolfie to tell me that he’d pulled. I was happy for him, but also secretly bummed out because it meant the end of the things that had been going on between us. So there I am, moping around for a few days feeling pretty bad about about life and myself and a friend of mine, R, pops up on MSN Messenger (totally showing my age!). R wanted to meet me, he even offered to come over to meet me. I was confused, but okay. Anyway, because Mr Wolfie was dating, I decided what the hell and pursued a brief relationship with R. It was somewhat strange, having a boyfriend who owned a van, but also pretty useful. We could buy things, chuck it in the van and drive – life was easy.

So it goes, R and I had a relationship for about six weeks and he offered to take me camping for 5 nights. We’d gotten along well, so I agreed. We didn’t travel far and found ourselves a quaint little sight in North Somerset. We parked up, offloaded the van and got the tent set up.

While we were offloading, I noticed the cargo lashing rings on the bottom of the van. I didn’t know they were for cargo, I just knew that my mother used them to connect the dog leads to while we offloaded my Dad’s mobility scooter on walks, so I called them “dog rings” – cue a very confused boyfriend! Anyway, I explained the story and that was that, or so I thought. In the back of his van, he had everything, a camp stove, a portable shower, a portable toilet, the full works. Fine, I observed, but where does he sleep? Upon my questioning, R flopped a single mattress down from a frame on the side of the van, pulled some pillows and a sleeping bag from a shelf and gave me that sort of “happy now?” look. I shrugged it off and carried on unpacking, until our eyes met again.

Suddenly, I noticed that R was no longer grabbing stuff for our trip and I looked up to him. He was regarding me and I stopped and looked at him quizzically. He moved over to me, took the camping stuff from me and put it on an empty shelf, then pulled me onto the mattress and kissed me. He grabbed the luggage straps that he used to hold up his mattress and threaded them through the lashing rings.

Long story short, I learned that those rings can be used for holding down much more than cargo and dog leads and I’ve never looked at Ford Transit vans the same. It wasn’t a full Fifty Shades in the back of a van but it was definitely one hell of a sexy experience!

Alright lovelies, I hope you enjoy this post and have a wonderful Tuesday afternoon/evening.

Until next time,

Be Bold, Be Bright, Be Beautiful,

Helen xx

2 thoughts on “TMI Tuesday – All About The Ride

  1. Wow, for someone who doesn’t own a car, you seem quite passionate about the ones that you’ve encountered in your life. I loved the way that you described them. I feel the same way about certain technological advancements – everyone seems blown away when the newest household robot tech or voice regonition software comes up, but to me, it often looks like one more way to be lazy and just let a machine do it instead of doing it yourself.

    1. Hmm.. as someone who owns a smart home, I have to say that I love my smart technology. I gave away an old stair gate on Tuesday and the lady noticed my Ring doorbell camera, a lot of people comment on it. My Mum thought smart technology was lazy too, but then I bought her a robot vacuum and she couldn’t sing its praises enough. I think a lot of it depends on the what and the why, for example, we have a motion senor on the front door, some outdoor strip lights and a smart bulb in the hallway, they’re all connected and we got them after an attempted break-in. The idea is, if someone comes down the side of the building and towards our front door, the sensor will detect them and immediately turn the lights on. A potential intruder will see the hallway light on, so they will think there is someone home, since the light is on. The outside lights also provide extra light for the Ring camera, hopefully helping to identify a potential suspect. I have smart speakers which help me to set reminders to feed the dog and put him to bed, I can ask Google (normally, when we’re not locked down) to “call in the troops”, ie run my two robovacs while I’m out walking the dogs with my Mum. If you’re buying the technology just because it’s cool and means you don’t have to do stuff, then yes, I agree it’s lazy. If you’re buying it so that you can be more productive with your time, then I think it’s useful. I’ve written about it more here: shorturl.at/tKTY5 and here: shorturl.at/qHTX5, if you’re interested 🙂

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