So, What DO You Want For Your Birthday?

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It’s that time of year, the time of year that I absolutely detest. It’s a little like Christmas for me, and that sounds miserable. It’s that time of the year when I turn another year older and my friends and family bombard me with some version of the same question;

“What do you want for your birthday?”

And my answer is the same this year as it is every year;

I don’t.

You see, it’s not that I don’t want anything for my birthday, it’s just that I don’t want things, and I don’t want anyone to buy things for me that I don’t currently want and may never use or need. I have my own money, and when I need a thing, I buy the thing. If I want some thing, I go online and order the thing, or I go to the store and buy it. Isn’t that just how that shopping malarkey works?

“Oh, miserable guts.. how about a..”

It’s always the same every year, some suggestion of some thing that I didn’t want and wouldn’t have missed until it was mentioned, but now that you’ve mentioned it, yes, I would very much like that thing. I didn’t need it before and I have no room to store it among the other things that I’ve long considered more important, but not to fear, I shall find some room!


As a minimalist, the one thing that I can’t stand is stuff. I hate stuff. If it’s not servicing a purpose (and I prefer items that can meet two or three said purposes!), then it’s just a stuff. It’s stuff that needs organising, stuff that needs cleaning, maybe even stuff that needs refilling or maintaining, too. As a blogger, a housewife, a pet mom and a family woman, I don’t have time for taking care of my “stuff”.

At the ripe age of 32 in exactly a week from today, I’m getting too old for materialism. I have all of the perfumes that I could want, I have slippers, I have shoes and I have plenty of hoodies, too. Last Christmas, my mad mob asked me what I wanted and I casually mentioned that I’d like a few hoodies. My beloved family went so crazy on hoodies that I ended up with five of the damn things – in one Christmas afternoon!

But that really comes down to it, doesn’t it? What do I want for my birthday? If not clothes, stink or perishables, then what? What do you give a girl who seemingly has it all?

Your time.

After losing my father last year, my family and friends have become far more important to me than any materialistic possession. What enriches my life is not goods, it’s the people I share it with. The best belongings won’t replace an interesting conversation. The best wine on the planet could also be the cheapest if it’s being shared with my friends and family. So many people have talked favourably about my wedding day, the cake and all of the fun they had. By now, most people have forgotten that the wedding toast was a £2 bottle of bubbly. You see? What matters in life is not the price tag, for the best gift simply doesn’t have one.

Our wedding cake
Our wedding cake, handcrafted by my Mum – all of the flowers were edible!

Me And My Big Mouth

Over the years, the gifts that I have received have changed. Physical items became meals out, theatre tickets and experience days. Family and friends stopped asking and with enough insistence, even gift cards were finally accepted as not being impersonal and perfectly okay to buy. I still have the measuring unit chopping board that I bought years ago with a gift card- Wolfie and I are still in love with it even now and it’s still just as useful to have!

“I might have a look at tablets so I can sit on the sofa, read and comment” I said casually. My desk is useful, but I have a terrible habit of slouching when I’m reading other blogs.

“I’ve been looking at tablets, about £150 for something decent” Wolfie informed me about a few minutes later.

“Okay, well nice of you to spoil me” I said with a playful wink.

“Okay, fine” he said matter-of-factly. Bollocks! I forgot I hadn’t yet given him any ideas for my birthday, now Wolfie was like the cat that got the cream.

“What? No! Burgundy! Burgundy! Burgundy.. please! Burgundy!”. “Burgundy” is my sort of safeword for stopping a non-kink situation that I don’t want to be in, but in this case it was useless. Guess who is now getting the tablet that she wasn’t actually sure she wants or needs?

In a way, I humbly accepted it. This is the life I lead, the life that I’m used to. It’s not a rich life, but it’s a better life, a better life than what either of us are used to or could afford before. But I wasn’t done, not yet. I don’t go down without a fight.

“Mark my words, Mr S” I shook my head in exasperation as my eyes met his, blue to blue, “Your birthday is coming up next” I warned.

What Do I Want For My Birthday? (Don’t Worry, It’s Free!)

I’ve been blogging now, under various names, for more than two years. If you’ve enjoyed my posts, please consider giving me a cheeky little mention on your blog so that more people can enjoy my writings and, hopefully, even gain from them. With my experiences with mental health, disability, life and more than a decade within the BDSM community, my goal is to help as many people as I can help through my writings, and your sharing my name will help me do just that. You don’t have to write a whole blog post about why I’m the best (though it is always welcome if you want to 😉 ), just a little mention somewhere will be fine. I will be giving shout-outs in kind to all those who supported my blog when I return from my (birth)day off.

Alright lovelies, I hope you enjoyed this post. How do you feel about birthday presents?Are you a fan or are you over them, too? I’ve heard so many great thoughts and comments from some of you lately and it’s always so great to read them. Keep sharing!

Until next time,

Be Bold, Be Bright, Be Beautiful,

Helen xx

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