Get Ready With Me: Setting A BDSM Scene

Black eye black, leather flogger and silver handcuffs on a red satin sheet.

Hello Lovelies,

Welcome to the first installment of my ‘Get Ready WIth Me’ series, where I am going to be talking about and sharing with you some of the things that we do prior to a BDSM session. I’m going to be posting these posts on our Kinky Fuckery Fridays, owing to their name, ‘Get Ready With Me’, since that’s kind of what I’m doing. Call it your very own little slice of the action, if you will. Aren’t y’all so lucky? 😉

Today I wanted to talk a little bit about setting the scene, about some of the simple and most effective ways that we use to set the scene for BDSM play and ideas that might inspire you. You don’t need to include all of these ideas, but I hope even one or two will help to inspire your thinking. Are you ready? Let’s get stuck in!

My desk space (before lockdown!) looking clean, clear and tidy.
My desk (before lockdown!)**

A Blank Canvas

One of the most important things to me prior to a BDSM session, is a clean bedroom. It’s so important, I cannot emphasise it enough. It’s not only important to be as clear of clutter as possible (for safety reasons), but also because clutter can really distract you from your play. Make the bed, tidy up the shelves and sweep and vacuum the floor. Empty that overflowing bin as well and believe me, your BDSM sessions will improve!

If it sounds like a lot of effort, that’s because I kind of think it needs to be. Spontaneous sex can be great, but it can also be great to really set aside some time and space to divulge fully. Set some time on your agenda to get organised, and your love life will thank you for it.

Our bed with pink strip lighting
Making the most of mood lighting 😉 **

Lighten Up

Next on my list, is lighting. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried, but having a sixty watt halogen bulb burning your retinas out is hardly sexy. Conversely, playing in pitch black darkness is nothing if incredibly dangerous. A table lamp is always a good idea, but maybe you want something more… ooh la la.

As you can see in the photograph above, we decided to install the Philips Hue Lightstrip* behind our headboard which gives us the ability to set up the bedroom in a whole array of colours. You do need the Philips Hue Bridge* as well to be able to control them, but after that you can go on to accessorise your home with bulbs and motion sensors however you want to. I will say that having a sensor on the porch which turns on the entrance lights and hallway lights is nothing but a blessing, but more on that another time. If you fancy our delightful pink glow (which has been guilty for rather a lot of action!) then these strip lights are surely the way to glow 😉

So pretty!**

Burning Flame

A more popular choice, and one that I incorporate anyway, is a candle or twenty. I normally have more of them in my lounge than I do in the bedroom but to me, no BDSM scene is complete without a candle holder or plate somewhere in the room. I absolutely adore this tealight holder and it was threatened with eviction once before, but I’m glad that never happened. It’s the prettiness that makes up my sessions for me and I couldn’t be without it. I even have a ritual for lighting it, which I’ll also be sharing with you another time.

Sexy Sounds

Never, ever underestimate the power of music before, during and after a scene. Consider the atmosphere you are trying to create and create playlists to help you set the tone. Pick music that puts you both in the mood for some lovin’ and be sure to review it often. You may also want to add different types of music to create a crescendo to your scene, followed by some soothing sounds to relax with.

If you’re like us, maybe you have some smart speakers dotted around your home? Why not create a playlist with different styles to take you seemlessly through your evening? For us, we have relaxing piano music for during dinner, a combination of our favourite sex songs for our scene play and soft binaural beats to help us sleep afterwards. Having the same music playing seamlessly throughout the home can really help add to the atmosphere.

If you’re really, really fancy (and equipped), you can even schedule a routine that dims the lights and plays the music at the same time, taking quite a bit of the work out of getting ready to play and allowing you to get on with getting yourself ready. Ahh.. the beauties of life in a smart home 😉

He’s friendly really, I promise 😉 **

A Scent-sational Idea For You..

The last thing on my list, and perhaps the most cutest, is little Puff, the incense dragon. I adore Puff and he got his name from Wolfie. Not only is Puff a little cutie, but he’s also an incense burner and our scenes simply wouldn’t be the same without him! Before a session, I love to burn one of our ‘spice mix’ incense cones in the bedroom, which gives the room a sort of deeply spicy, woody smell. Whatever you decide, explore aromas and fragrances. Maybe you want to burn some scented candles, some fragrance oils in an oil burner, or maybe you’ll want to explore some incense, too? Play around with different fragrances (and even different mixes) and find what works for you. Maybe you want to use different fragrances for different scenes? That’s cool too 🙂

Don’t forget, this isn’t a point by point guide to setting up a BDSM scene so much as some of the things we do and incorporate, which I hope will get your creative juices flowing. There is no right or wrong answer and ultimately however your BDSM scenes look is entirely down to you (and your partner, if you have one). Play around with some of these ideas, discuss them with your partner and above all else, don’t forget to have fun!

What ways do you like to prepare a space for a BDSM scene? Why not share some of your ideas in the comments? I’d love to hear from you!

Hugs & kinky cuddles,

Helen xx

*I’m not even being paid any commission to recommend these products to you!

**Images are intellectual property of Bigboldandbright.com . Please give credit if reusing.

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