TMI Tuesday – 18th August 2020

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Good morning my lovelies, and what a morning it is indeed!

I woke up at 6:00am today, can you believe it? I’m never normally up that early! I think going to bed at 11:00pm helped but damn my body clock! I normally only get about six hours of sleep and my body just seems to know this. Bed at 11:30pm? Up by 6:00am it is. Even when I wanted to get some extra sleep, I couldn’t. Gah!

Today is another mix and mash of questions with no particular theme. As always, I hope my answers entertain you.

1. What is the biggest part of your body? I mean I think it’s my spine, maybe? You know, I’m not really sure and I cannae be arsed to hunt down my tape measure. Either your spine is longer than your legs, or your legs are longer than your spine. Any MD’s in the house want to help a girl out here? Dr Google apparently wasn’t qualified to give an answer..


2. What is the best bad decision you have ever made? Goodness, I mean I’m a brat so I make a LOT of those (giggles). Okay, so I guess on that note we’ll look at that one time, since a lot of my audience are that way inclined. I went to a BDSM club with my husband, all well and good. I had a friend at this club, T, who was the sub partner of another Dom. Long story short, I got myself into trouble, got dragged into the dungeon and got my butt whooped. I came out of the dungeon while Wolfie visited the gents and I caught up with T, started chatting and proceeded to bounce my butt on the seat to demonstrate that all was okay and I wasn’t in any pain. I looked back to see where Wolfie was and he was about twelve feet away, glaring right at me, watching my every move. Needless to say we ended up back in the dungeon and needless to say, it did hurt to sit down after that..

Oor.. maybe it was the time I paired up with another brat at started awarding point scores for strikes of the paddle? We both ended up punished and continued to chat and giggle throughout our “massage” (caution: only for the very masochistic!). That evening, I found out that tawses bite like the beejebus and I really don’t like them very much!


3. What is the silliest reason you got into a fight with someone? Mashed potatoes, or more recently, after-dinner mints. Yeah, you’re going to laugh because this story gets ridiculous;

So it goes, back when we were dating, Matt was visiting one evening. I was cooking dinner and I’d just finished work and simply couldn’t be bothered to peel and mash potatoes, so I opted for instant kind. Matt was against the idea and insisted that instant mash tastes awful, but I was persistent. I can remember my Mum saying “you two! You’re arguing over bloody mashed potatoes!”, which sort of put a stop to that. In the end, I did settled for making ‘real’ mash to shut him up, but I made instant mash about three weeks later to see if he would eat it. He did, and he liked it, too!

And as for the after dinner mints? It goes back to entertaining last Tuesday. I wanted to put after-dinner chocolate mints on the table, but Wolfie insisted they would melt in the warmth of the sun.

“It’s customary to serve an after-dinner mint after a meal” I argued.

“Is it customary to serve a chocolatey, minty goop, too?” he shot back. He might have won that round.


4. What is your favorite thing about your best friend? He’s a penis, and he’ll probably read this and smile, because at the end of the day, there’s only one person I call a penis (hell yes I can be immature!), and we all know who that is. He’s also tolerable, even if I want to stick cotton buds up his nose when he snores and he still thinks he’s my boss. There’s only one human I don’t mind having around during the pandemic and that’s also because he doesn’t care if I buffer away my calloused heels while he’s on the phone and he doesn’t mind my “man voice” when I’m full of summer cold. He also doesn’t mind if I cry because he bought my favourite ice cream and nigh vomit on him because some poor sod took a headshot in the movie that he didn’t even realise had a violent bit. We’re both imperfect, but then if you can’t accept one another’s imperfections, I’m not sure I even know what love really is.

5. If 5 men take about 3 hours to dig 3 holes, how long will it take for 2 men to dig half a hole? Do I look like some kind of mathematical genius? Okay, so a bit, but still..

Look, I’m going to look at this question as somebody who has done a few bits and pieces in law. The word I’m looking at here is “about”. About is non-conclusive, it’s not definitive. I don’t go guesses, I do facts and figures. It could be five minutes over, it could be ten minutes under, we just don’t know. In order to do the maths, I need confirmed figures. Without which, I simply couldn’t give you my answer, sorry 😉

At a guess (and I’m not a complete spoilsport!) I’m thinking about 24 minutes, since they’d have just under half of the manpower and half a hole with 5 guys takes 30 minutes, so it would be double the workload. I could be wrong, though!

Bonus: Would you rather be itchy or sticky for the rest of your life?

Oh god, itchy! I hate, hate, hate being sticky. Like, itchy is a bit irritating, okay? With sticky, you get bits of everything stuck to you. Lint, pet hair, dust, you name it – gross! Plus, if you’re itchy, you could probably manage it through mindfulness. No amount of therapy will stop you sticking to stuff!

Alright lovelies, that’s it for this week. Don’t forget, if you want to join in the fun, copy the questions and fill in your answers on your blog then share the link to your post on TMI Tuesday’s blog so that we can all have a read!

Have a lovely Tuesday!

Be Bold, Be Bright, Be Beautiful,

Helen xx

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