Good morning lovelies,
I’m not usually somebody who likes to plaster my personal dramas all over the internet and yet, yesterday this happened. This thing happened that made me so damned angry that right now, I kind of don’t care. We’re all frustrated, we’re all hurting, but regardless of our personal circumstances and social distances, we are all in this lockdown together.
Right now, I have friends who were told to stay home long before the lockdown even began, I have friends who have been furloughed because their job carries too much risk and I have family who are putting themselves at risk of Covid-19 to serve the community and who are getting more and more agitated with each passing day of not seeing me. I have a computer in the bedroom and get woken up each morning to the low ring of my husband’s headset. I have a father-in-law who struggles with loneliness and independent living, but is on his own right now with very limited, virtual support. We’ve all got issues right now, none of us are better or worse off than the other.
I myself have been using my love for writing to try to help keep people afloat. On my blog I am trying my damnest to keep you all going with mental health support, and on my Facebook, I try to share funny things with my friends and family to keep connected and lighten the dire mood. I can’t tell my family and friends about these funny moments in person, so social media is all I have. My husband and I are known to be jokers with one another, so when I shared something which I knew a lot of young people would be familiar with, I thought it would give a few people a laugher, but perhaps not.
As you can see, good-natured, well-intended, all round fun. I should also point out here that my husband is loved in his company and has spent this morning training new employees and because of his level of experience and dedication to the company, he is one of the few who hasn’t been furloughed. As hard as furlough is on anyone, the fact that some of his colleagues have taken a pay cut right now is not his fault, it’s nobody’s fault, it’s the tragic economic impact caused by a global pandemic. My husband also found my antics funny, shook his head and called me a ‘little shit’, nothing out of the normal. A friend also commented and shared my humour, so I really didn’t see that it’d caused any harm.
Only, instead of laughing, instead of looking at the humour and taking light in these moments of silliness, some poor, butt-hurt individual who knows my husband felt the need to take my status up with his manager. Instead scrolling or blocking me, some sad soul had to go to the extreme.
On the whole. Matt and I have been working absolutely fine together. He works, I blog, we come together at lunchtime and in the evenings. Computers go off at about 7pm and that’s us then, we settle down for dinner and watch some TV. Sure, we’ve had a few squibbly moments over clutter on worktops and overflowing bins but nothing, not anything like this.
Yesterday afternoon Matt had a call from his manager and called me into the bedroom afterwards to discuss it. He told me that his manager doesn’t care but advised him to be careful with his use of social media. His use of social media – he wasn’t even the one who wrote the damn status!
I tagged him because he is my husband. I tagged him because he was the one I pranked. I tagged him because he has friends on his Facebook who know me and know what I’m like, but aren’t on my friends list. We don’t spend our time cross-referencing who has who on Facebook, we spend time talking and laughing together, as friendships should be. I’m not about to monitor what I say because of his company and I was resolute in that. I don’t reveal where he works or what I think of the company and his company, I’m sorry to say, is not so high-ranking that employees and their families are legally required to sign a NDA. He works in a call centre with a bunch of people of who, the first time I met them, a large number of them got drunk, rowdy and began dancing on the furniture. That hardly left a good impression in my mind.
In the end, I told him that I was sorry if anybody was offended by my status and that I meant no offence by it. I told my husband to go back to his manager and stand up for himself instead of taking the stick. I told him to go back and explain that it wasn’t his status and that he was tagged in it, he didn’t create it in the first place. I told him that I’ve just been told I can’t see my family for at least another three weeks and I miss them more than anything, and that after losing Dad last year, I won’t be policed in what I share with them by a company that I don’t even work for. Moreover, I told him to take his colleagues off of Facebook because they quite clearly couldn’t be trusted. He’s considering it, but more than anything he too is hurt and angry that someone would do this when they are quite likely to be someone who has taken advantage of his willingness to help them.
Despite a second talk, his manager really wasn’t bothered by it anyway and I suppose right now, few people would be. Most of us are trying to get through this dire situation and it’s the moments of humour that can help lighten some of the stress. I’m sorry to anyone who has been furloughed and I do sincerely hope that your situation improves soon, but please, please think as a collective. We are all in this together, we are all hurting and we are all struggling, some of us have even lost loved ones to this horrible disease. Instead of tale-telling on someone who appears to have it better than you do, think of them, think of what they might be going through or what they might be missing that you have. Instead of creating a fuss because they have something you want, please take a moment to be grateful for all that you’ve got.
Be Bold, Be Bright, Be Beautiful,
PS. If you too want the app, you can download “Whip” for free from the Google Play app store. Have fun!
PPS. I accept absolutely no responsibility for the consequences incurred to anyone who chooses to follow my lead!
Real therapy can get real expensive. If you’ve felt supported or inspired by my writing, please consider supporting my blog. Your kindness will help keep my blog running for everyone for another year.
Sure, I’ll donate!